Through Eyes that have cried
Saint Oscar Romero
Mental breakdown.
There are many ways to use these two words. But in the summer of 2023, I found myself using them to explain my month-long absence from the lives of my closest friends.
I’ve known for a long time that many, many people are suffering from mental illness. Over the years, I’ve walked with others who have dealt with anxiety and depression. I’ve personally dealt with brief periods of severe anxiety.
But mental illness took on a whole new meaning the day that I completely lost touch with reality. And during my hospitalization, I met dozens of other people suffering under the enormity of its weight. This reality is something I will never be able to unsee.
In the darkness and uncertainty that comes in the wake of a mental breakdown, I’m hanging on to the hope that God promises to those who walk with Him.
In writing this compilation of stories and poetry, I hope to give you a taste of a mind wrecked by psychosis–the random memories that continue to surface, the confusion and fear, the embarrassment and shame. At the same time, I pray that my reflections will remind you that you are loved. That you are precious in His eyes. And most of all, I hope my writing reminds you that God not only sees you, but that He is also working out a plan to bring you into a place of light and refreshment.
In writing this compilation of stories and poetry, I hope to give you a taste of a mind wrecked by psychosis–the random memories that continue to surface, the confusion and fear, the embarrassment and shame. At the same time, I pray that my reflections will remind you that you are loved. That you are precious in His eyes. And most of all, I hope my writing reminds you that God not only sees you, but that He is also working out a plan to bring you into a place of light and refreshment.
