You Love Me As You Find Me &...

You love me as You find me.

These words found their way to me in the winter of 2021. They were printed on a t-shirt beneath the image of a collection of saints known as patrons for those dealing with anxiety, depression, and mental illness.

At this point in my life, I’d been through a season of severe anxiety and depression, and so, I naturally embraced these saints as my personal heroes.

But it wasn’t until 2024 that these words really hit home for me.

You love me as You find me.

Post-psychotic episode, I was drowning in shame. The episode had cost me my job—my journey to healing didn’t match up with the looming deadlines. The episode had left me unstable—the psychosis lingered in certain parts of my mind for months and the medication put me in what I can only describe as a chemical fog for well over a year.

As I struggled day after day, month after month, I felt certain that shame was a burden that I was bound to carry for the rest of my life. I couldn’t fathom being able to shake off its weight.

But then these words began as a whisper in the back of my mind:

I love you as I find you. Always and forever. Again and again and again.

And as God orchestrated my healing, these words only continued to grow louder.

Over time, I began to notice that something was missing from the message. I realized that this beautiful phrase only told half of the story.

As I leaned in to accepting the first half of the truth, God responded with tender compassion:

I love you as I find you &...
I desire your healing.
I desire your freedom.
I desire your joy.
I desire your peace.
I desire to lead you to abundant, everlasting life.

The other half of the story—the &—is where God reveals His character. It is where He sets captives free. It is where He casts out darkness. It is where He consoles the brokenhearted. There is no end to the wonderful things He can and will do.

Praise God, that He doesn’t leave us where He find us. Praise God that when we are broken and hurting he has a plan to heal us in some way—whether physically or spiritually. Praise God for all the ways He gently nurtures our hearts and tends to our souls.

He truly does love us.